


Don't Make Me Laugh, I'll Choke

by Cherriewine



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Incest, M/M, Not Shippy, Sibling Incest, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25894921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherriewine/pseuds/Cherriewine
Summary: Ritsu thinks about his shattered relationship with Rei. There's nothing deeply romantic about this fic but it's written by me, so it's implied. Inspired by "Rose Colored Boy" by Paramore.
Relationships: Sakuma Rei/Sakuma Ritsu
Kudos: 13





	Don't Make Me Laugh, I'll Choke

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that this is pretty unstructured! Pretty much just written on the spot. Not beta'd, so feel free to tell me if you spot any errors.

Rei really thought he’d get away with this, didn’t he? As if he hadn’t smashed their relationship into pieces with his own hands. Mao joked sometimes that he was so aggressive it almost seemed like a joke, but Ritsu’s annoyance was more than genuine. If only it could be a joke. If only. 

Really, his precious Maa-kun getting whisked away with Rei of all people as a mentor was just the worst. It wasn’t like he didn’t want Mao to succeed, but how did he not see Rei was just using him? After all, his cute, pure Maa-kun didn’t even know about the war… Couldn’t begin to imagine what had happened to Yumenosaki before he came here. Sure, sure, Ecchan would always argue it was for the good of many. As if Ritsu cared. It’d broken Rei, taken away the strong-willed rebellious brother he knew and loved and replaced him with some disgusting joke of a human. Oh, his talents were still there, but buried underneath weariness. He was really such a coward he wouldn’t even try to lead revolution himself, and on top of it, he was trying to pull some innocent first years into it. 

With all of that to worry about… There was no way Ritsu could believe that Rei was true in any of his shining ideals. If he really wanted a better Yumenosaki, a better idol industry… More than that, if he really wanted Ritsu to love him, he wouldn’t be such a coward, hiding and scheming in the shadows.

Ritsu wanted to scream. Is that really all you can do? Is this really what the person he used to rely on became? Maybe it was his own fault for ever believing in him. Maybe he was just as bad as everyone who idolized Rei, putting him up on a pedestal far beyond human. Maybe, just maybe, if he’d been there to ground Rei and bring him back to Earth, things wouldn’t be so ruined. But that wasn’t reality. That wasn’t now. There was no saving what they used to be.

Both Rei and Mao… They really never stopped, did they? Shining so brightly, trying to help everyone around them. Ignoring themselves. Maybe Ritsu was a wretched person, being drawn to people like this. Maybe he was the weak one, always admiring those who could actually help others. He was beyond useless, he knew that much. He could criticize his stupid brother all day, but Rei hadn’t stopped trying.

Unlike him.

Ritsu leaned up against the tree behind him, letting the bark dig into his skin a little bit more than would be comfortable. His lips twitched upwards, somewhat sardonically. What a joke. What a hypocrite. He was tearing Rei to pieces, but he was so weak he could hardly stay awake half the time.

It’s not like he didn’t know Rei had left for his sake. It just didn’t matter.

A yawn tore through Ritsu, leading him to stretch as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He was quick to blink them away, nearly laughing at the irony of them forming from exhaustion rather than how broken he felt. Well. He couldn’t really cry like he used to.

Despite these murky, negative thoughts, despite the discomfort of the ground and the tree against his back, Ritsu found his vision fading to a comfortable black, sleep granting him some kind of peace.

When he awoke to someone shaking his shoulder, he felt stiff as a board… Ah, well. The price to pay if he didn’t want someone to find him and drag him to class. Yet someone was here anyways, so that must not have worked… He sighed, but upon prying open his eyes, he was quick to notice how dark it was already. Well, that was one positive. He just couldn’t do class today, no matter how much he knew it’d upset others. 

It might not be the right way to deal with it, but he had to put himself first just this once. They might not realize it… No, they surely didn’t, but dragging himself here every day could be his personal hell, sometimes. He probably looked lazy to them. Ritsu knew he did. He’d do better if he could, but he’d surely have no energy whatsoever if he tried any harder. Better to get a low grade than burn himself out. He never could be like the rest of them, anyways.

Still bleary from sleep, he rubbed at his eyes as his vision focused, not wanting to believe who was in front of him. Ugh. Really? He looked down at his phone, but all of his texts wer just from the Knights group chat… His brow furrowed.

“Isara-kun sent me to find you,” Rei said with an apologetic smile, holding out his phone to Ritsu to… His contacts list. Ritsu sighed, snapping it shut in Rei’s hand. He tried to ignore how pleased Rei looked at the physical contact.

“Don’t bother showing me the text, I believe you. It's more effort than it’s worth to dig around on your phone anyways, so get that ancient relic out of my face. In fact, just get out of my face in general. That’d be best.” Ritsu grit his teeth. He knew Maa-kun was just worried about him, but he couldn’t have sent, y’know, anyone else? Ugh. It was probably some stupid attempt to get them to get along again. Or rather, get Ritsu to forgive Rei. If it could only be that easy.

Rei hesitated for only a moment before gently laughing, ruffling Ritsu’s hair. Ah, this act again. Like nothing had changed. Ritsu was quick to slap Rei’s hand away, and he hardly reacted. Ritsu knew it had to hurt him, had to feel bad on some internal level, but if Rei was never honest that was his own fault. His stupid fake crying aside, this idiot hardly ever showed anything real to Ritsu. You could argue his affection was, but… Ah. As if. Ritsu huffed.

“Let me walk you home, alright? Otherwise, Isara-kun surely won’t be able to stop worrying. You know he’d be here if he was able, but he always takes on more than he can chew. He promised to pick you up in the morning, you know?”

Ritsu groaned. “Fine, whatever. Just don’t talk to me on the way home, or I’ll run away no matter how upset it makes Maa-kun.”

Rei gave Ritsu a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, nodding. Clearly the threat got through. That said, he just stood there, waiting for Ritsu to move from his spot on the ground.

“Well?” Ritsu intoned, giving no further explanation. It’d be funny to try to make Rei guess this without being able to speak. He stood up, dusting off his knees. 

Expectedly, Rei looked understandably flummoxed, trying to figure out how to respond. Ritsu let him squirm for a minute before sighing exaggeratedly, kicking Rei onto his knees. He laughed at the slight groan. It was either performative or Rei really had gotten much weaker. After all, before… Ah, he wasn’t going to think about that.

“Let me get on your back, stupid anija. There’s no way I’m going to walk all the way there. If you’re trying to replace my precious Maa-kun, you might as well try to do half as well as he can.”

Ritsu couldn’t see Rei’s face, but he was glad he’d told him to shut up- he’d surely be whining about how his back couldn’t take it, he was an old man, blah blah blah. Or maybe he’d make that disgusting fake cry. Ugh, or if he was really somehow pleased about having to drag Ritsu’s body all the way back to the house he hated so much then that’d be even worse. 

Rei was really rubbing off on his Maa-kun after all. It was clear as day that this was the most beginner level scheming possible… But he couldn’t really say no to Maa-kun, even if he wanted to. Maybe if Rei gushed enough about this tomorrow, Maa-kun would praise him.

...That was his excuse, anyways, as he got in a piggyback on Rei’s back.


End file.
